| Wow.
I was retarded.
But I guess I still am, and that's why I'm going to restart my Xanga.
Actually, it's because my school blocked every single fun thing in the world, and so now I'm lost.
[at least] 10 THINGS WRONG WITH MY LIFE [right now] 1. I am lonely. Whoopdie Doo.
2. Criminology is kicking my butt.
3. Hell, nutrition is, too.
4. I realized, now that I have at least some motivation to do something with my life, that I have f*cked up enough that I will NOT get any good scholarships, therefore my dream of becoming a Criminol Psychologist has officially been stamped with about 30grand in student loans.
5. My psychologist is literally avoiding me
6. I can't talk about the thinks that are driving me mad (stephen), because, first off, people ARE watching. I'm not stupid. And secondly, everyone has heard flipping enough about it. But hell, this is my blog, so I shouldn't care what other people think? But still, the legality of talking about it is very, very iffy.
7. I'm fat, damnit. Oh well. My shrink was telling me yesterday that females tend to lose weight at the begining of a relationship because they're happy. So, obviously, one would gain weight when it ends, right? THE so-called-RELATIONSHIP ended over THREE months ago. Why am I not getting back to normal?? Eek.
8. My sister walked in on me in the shower. Believe it or not, I have an issue with naked-ness. She sat down on my toilet and talked to me while I was trying to get my great white body squeaky clean. Akward.
9. My parents are leaving for Florida. Without me. Boy, the last time they left me alone, I did GREAT [sarcasm]. I'm not planning on being a bad person, but my mind gets weird when I'm alone. In the words of Motion City Soundtrack, 'I get lost, messed up and bored when i'm alone too long...I can't sleep, function or eat when I'm not with someone'.....................bleh.
10. Something is squeaking in the background and I am going to get up and beat some butt very, very soon if it doesn't st---wait, it did. Nevermind.
11. It started again.
12. I feel like I'm losing my friends, but nothing has changed. It's weird.
13. I'm regretting a certain email I sent to a certain boy saying a certain something about stopping some stuff...huh?
14. I'm out of chapstick. OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE.
[hopefully] 10 THINGS NOT WRONG WITH MY LIFE [right now] 1. I'm going to graduate high school with at least 30 college credits. Probably more.
2. I am not failing school. Not even close
3. No one has died.
4. I get the house to myself for almost a whole week! I'm happy, yet as number 9 on the above list hints, i'm terrified. I do NOT want to be kicked out.
5. I actually slept last night. Sleep has been an almost regular thing lately! Maybe i'm getting better, or my mind is just rejecting the bad stuff and I'm pretending it didn't happen? Oh well, regardless of anything, I'm SLEEPING! No one seems to understand the wonderfulness of this.
6. My self esteem, is officially in the positives, even if it is very, very small.
7. My no-swearing thing is kind of working. A little. Sorta. So far, the only thing I've stopped saying is 'pissed off'...I now say 'P's me O', which is kind of retarded, but fun to say all the same.
8. I.....don't know. I'm not dead yet
9. I still have an amazing job with amazing people.
10. I'm blogging, which might be one of my favorite things to do. Bleh. Iono. I hope I'm not in trouble for anything, even though I haven't really done anything trouble-worthy... |
